pissed off

three examinations in a row... and i cannot even be proud that my efforts were rewarded in any of them. i feel like a real stupida lurking in law school.


after almost a week of barely having a social life, after having deprived myself of portions of sleep which i treasure dearly in my life lately - i am down with nothing but "s**t, ang dami kong mali!"


luckily, fate has a way of appeasing my "bruised" soul. as we were about to go home kanina after our exams, he greeted me - not only that, he made a really, really sweet gesture. he touched my neck! hehehe...


by the way, may i just "proudly" mention that i am into telenovelas lately. i have my "tin time" every 10am [m-f], with dolphin bay...every 9pm [m-f], with stairway to heaven [tho i really despise seeing this wicked to the nth level mother and daughter tandem], and endless love 1 every sat and sun... =p i am getting a grip of my sanity here, and what a way to hold tight to them than thru such chino/koreanovelas!!!


there goes the life of a law student who only has one sure "correctly-answered" part in all exams, her name.

lull before the storm

i was supposed to be sitting in class as of this hour, lazily scanning the probable answers that our professor shots the class with ---- while praying really hard that my name be invisible in his record. with all the technical definitions and enumerations that the securities regulations code has flooded my mind with, it could be suicide to be in class.


but i was spared. all of us. =) the class asked for a ceasefire (in Beda law lingo, this refers to a timeout, either from having classes or the dreaded recitations, which either way is a relief in the "battle" where we are trapped in), such was granted! thank god!


well, aside from that we will be having no classes tomorrow and i have the grand opportunity to be absent the following day... calls for a celebration??? Nah, it is indeed the lull before the storm.


i resolve to keep my hands off the keyboard or the remote control for that matter, starting tonight until the 29th. starting this saturday, we will be having our midterm examinations and this calls for the penultimate preparation, moreso for a cramming student like i am --- with my tons of backlogs, i must eat and breathe my books and no other.


so, off for now! i am hoping and really praying that this be the last midterm examinations in my life! ever since law school, i have skipped the idea of taking another degree (except perhaps, special education??? hehe)!!!! wish me luck! =p

things that i did which i am not supposed to do...

in a few days time, i am about to encounter another season of my own life's own version of 'extra challenge' con 'fear factor'. my midterm exams. while i am ought to dig deep the backlogs that i have left in several subjects [with 39 rules in civil procedure for Rem Rev, SRC loads of stuff to memorize for Commercial Rev, some lessons to cover in Tax Rev which i still dont know til now, etcetera!], here i am, on my fourth hour surfing the net, producing nothing but eensy facts about 'mine.' hahaha... i just ought to check some yearbook work that my classmate should have emailed me. then, check my friendster for new pics [and new chikas probably]... well, here are some things that made me glued to the net for four hours despite the exams that i should be preparing for: 1. i learned about this law school thread in the forum section of www.peyups.com... this is a site for iskos and iskas like i am/was. funny how up law studes and ateneans kept on 'bickering' about who is the better law school, leaving beda as if it is no-competitor at all... hehehe... just cannot help but laugh at my alma mater. 'habang sila eh mega-away' as to which really fared well at the bar exams, beda was left with nothing but some miniscule compliment... hehehe, how insignificant this law school is, they probably were thinking. 2. i clicked on a former bf's friendster account... 'la lang. i do this regularly naman. just checking new pics and testimonials perhaps. and then i saw this guy's testi for my ex. he is the bro of my ex's ex-gf. sino kaya eto??? so the nosy lil me sprang up --- hehe.... i clicked and clicked.... ahhh, okay. he is THE ex. yeah, as in THE ex. she is the ultimate love of my ex [which i heard, he went out with recently despite being married na].... she isn't that pretty than i expected. yabang no? as if. seriously, i did not expect that she would look that simple. and i am not being bitter here, ok! just an opinion. 3. and i checked the friendster account of our batch in beda. geez, crushie has approved the invitation. so i clicked his account, found a few people, even his sis who dished out a really Am-girlish testimonial... so, i saw that his status is --- In a Relationship. I surmised that if this girl from a chic group at school is really his girl, she should be in his list of friends. but she is not. again, i assumed that any girl in his account is probably 'the one.' i guessed once, failed... and again --- i got it... she looks a bit simple, not that pretty though [according to my standards]. but her testimonials [yeah, i clicked her account too!] showed that she is a 'nicey' girl. another 'kulasa' --- same with ex's ex-gf [what is it there with kulasas!!!] i learned that she is his neigbor, that it is only recently that they became "they', that it seemed that he is so closey with her family and he is a 'bet' of her lola. nosy huh!!! =p well, i also learned that crushie is a sleepyhead like i am [naku, we have a lot in common na ah,hehe --- one lang naman so far, memorizing loudly --- as roomie tria told me]. he has no tv [naku, my exact opposite - i eat and breath tv!].... haaaay.... i hope this infatuation will turn to my advantage. at least i have to study well para di nakakahiya if i get bokya [as if he cares, duh!]... which reminds me, man, i have to review!!!! please do pray for me that i surpass this midterm exams, pass all the subjects ---- and that this be the last midterm exams in my entire life!!!! =p

lunch break

he was absent.


it's obvious, i looked for him. after the "harrowing pain" that made me hibernate for two days (well, aside from the case reports that i have to finsih), my bratty heart is back, and it would not entertain the idea of forgetting that some sparks flew for this guy. pasaway indeed.


despite having heard some chika about him and a classmate having a 'past,' here i am still stuck with thoughts of how remarkably funny, smart and irritatingly cute he could be at times. if this is some sort of a joke, it is no longer funny. the cliffhanging me seemed to fell down the abyss of the trap set by him. i am getting deeply involved with the idea of liking him - to the point of thinking how wonderful it could be if he could be mine. the other day, i watched this korean movie, ING (which i assure you is a must-see), and thoughts about him flooded the gaps of my gray matter until i slept. the guy in this movie is an ultimately funny guy (and irrestistably cutie) and i could not help but see him in this character. oh, illusions cast pain indeed.


the thought of liking him, though, gets into my nerves. though i cannot stop thinking about him, i hate the thought that i am indeed liking him and thinking about him. it's sickening. to say that i am confused would be an understatement.


so much about that for now... did i say that i asked a friend to cook up a blind date for me? i texted efie last wednesday telling him that, again, i am 'sawi' and obliged him at the same time to look for a date for me. the following day, i just realized that he and alex, another friend from Beda, were conspiring to cook up a date for me. being the imaginative (wishful desperada) girl that i am, i busied myself with 'impossible' thoughts. and now, i just discovered, through the help of another friend, Yayo, that this mr.blind date is someone from Beda as well. i have no oppositions to this idea. it's just that i wanted to start anew and being involved with another Bedista would not do any good, aside from the fact that i know this guy and he is all but a friend to me. =) true, beggars cannot be choosers but then, what is the use if there are no sparks???


which brings me back to 'mine'. and lurkily, fate has its way of teasing you. at this moment that i am encoding this paragraph, a song so unlikely for a hibernating me gets to be played in the internet cafe. and it made me smile. s**t, wag naman sana ganito --- i've fallen for you. not now. not with a classmate.


but then, i am wishin he'd be present at our next class. =)

sawi (na naman), para kay 'mine' na pilit nang kalilimutan

apat na buwan halos nahumaling kay ferrero, apat na buwan halos sa poli at civil, umikot ang mundo... ni hindi nakuhang ibaling ang tingin ko. kaya pagkatapos ng pinal na eksamen na tila nilamon lahat halos aking kamalayan mantakin ba naman pulos wills lumabas, na di ko pinagtuunan... sa savory at inuman, bagsak ng klaseng lugmok na. kung may higit pa sa deadma, iyon na marahil, ang pagkilala sa iyo ng pusong di pa hilahil, isang kaklase ka lang isang walang pakialam sa mundo ang taong walang kaibigan grad pic na lang malilinlang pa, ang taong walang alam sa paligid niya... awa lang nadarama sa iyo noon, tsk tsk tsk... kawawang bata, walang kaalam-alam tuwina'y sambit tungkol sa yo (bukod sa panlalait sa mala-saudi boy mong anyo) kaya nga nang iyong hingan ng number ko na pwedeng pagtanungan di na ako pa nag-alinlangan... ngunit matapos ng performance-level mong kanta ng closer you and i sa ktv room na kay usok na, munting awa ay nalusaw na nga, nalintikan na, nahuhulog na ata. hanggang sa patuloy mong kinulit, nang sumunod na semestre ang soltera kong puso na pinaglalabanang pilit pagkahumaling sa iyong kabaitan, at sa walang puknat na kakulitan. sa iyong pagsambit "sweetheart sige na", para lang makuha mo na, di ang oo ko (sana nga yun na lang), kundi ang proofs mo, daga sa puso ko'y nagsipagkandirit, parang dugo sa mukha'y pipilandit lalo na nang nabanggit --- "kahit ligawan kita?" haaay, gaga ka talaga! kaya nga ng makompronta ng roommate ko na si jennifer olba di na naka-hindi, huling-huli na (sabagay sa baklang ito, walang maikukubli, lalo na ako pa) katapusan na nga ng tunggalian kung gusto kita o ano ba talaga... lintek, nagkaaminan na. lumipas mga araw, sa tuwina mula disyembre hanggang enero, isang dipa laging idinudungaw ng suwail kong puso isang sighap ng hininga sa pagkita lamang sa iyo t****na, nababaliw na yata ako. hanggang sa buong fourth year na yata napagsabihan ko na na sa kasalatan ng lalake sa sangkaBEDAhan ikaw ang natitipuhan (sino-sino nga ba aking nasabihan? tria, roy, kats, yayo, ara, eric, sugar, at jana, syet, madami na pala)... the last blow, ika nga nila nang sa tavern nag-inuman na, na bago pa man medyo nagkatama na (nang hiramin facial wash mo di ba) humahangos ika'y dumating, mayamaya pa, nagulat na lamang nang iyong yakagin, saliwan ng sayaw ang tugtugin, lasing na nga ata? pero hindi pala pangarap o amats lamang, kasabay ng aking paghindi ay ang pagtili ng mga kasama kong tulad ko'y mangha sa tinuran, isang SanMig Light pinadaloy sa lalamunan sabay hithit at buga sa nikotina, ayoko na, aking tinuran. sana nga nadala na ako nang umuwing lango at tinuluyan na ang ulit-ulit na linya kay jennifer andres olba: "ayoko na, friend..." sana noon na na-the end. sana nga di na nag-wrong send pa nang minsang nakatoma, "Asan ka na po? =) " sabi ng gaga "Bakit mo ko hinahanap? =)" textback ng gago, tuloy na-carry over kahit na 2005 na. lalong umigting lihim(?) na pagtingin ng pasukan ay dumating, sulyap dito, sulyap doon, pintas dito, pintas doon, sa bawat pagpintas naman tila napipitas nang tuluyan puso kong di na nadala sa nakaraan. Hanggang ng minsan, umamin muli sa isang kaibigan na ikaw puno't dulo ng kakiligan, napag-alaman, o hindi, na naman?! may iba ka na daw nililigawan, o kayo na nga ay magkasintahan. Nalintikan na, eto na naman. Ano bang dapat maramdaman ng isang tulad ko? Di naman tayo, di mo naman ako gusto... Di mo naman alam ika'y gusto ko... Di mo naman sinasadya maramdaman ko ay ganito... Langyang puso to, pinahamak na naman ako. Byers na nga sa yo, Nagugulo mundo ko Pati make-up ko nauubos dahil sa yo bakit ba nagkaganito! Mabuti pa kalimutan na lamang eto, Kalimutan pagkahumaling ko, Kaligtaan minsa'y muntik nang pagnasaan "Mine" itawag sa yo, Statistic na nga lang, Itala sa listahan Ng mga di-nasukliang nadarama Na tila kinokolekta ng masaklap kong tadhana. Ayoko na talaga.

sana

mock reunion

anything but fancy. this is how i would best describe the get-together that i have in mind for my batch. you see, since our beloved high school has done nothing to prepare for the reunion of its alumni, i took it upon myself as a (self-imposed) duty to see to it that my batch would have a decent homecoming by 2006. i thought, perhaps, two years would suffice to turn such into reality. the preparation has to start now. but uh-oh, the ordeal was beyond description. we have to set the 4 W's... both the date and the venue are pains in the a**. i have posted several messages on the bulletin of www.friendster.com, but only a few responded. luckily, with a huge help from thea, my high school friend, we got everything fixed. THE DAY... 30 minutes past 7 in the evening, thea and i are trembling, not only due to the chilly air that night but also because a hefty sum of money, and all our efforts, are at stake... but the gods are good and a bunch of batchmates came one after another. enough to pay for everything spent =) whew (sigh of relief)!!! s**t, akala ko estafa na!!!! i would not go into the details of how it went. it is enough that everyone went home with a smile, i suppose! =) my big thanks to the people who cared to share with us their time: abi geromo [sabi mo babalik ka?], reynaldo rodio [di ba sabi sa yo ok lang yun! labyu friend!], ang mga gumuwapo pa lalo --- eric eusebio, arnel laus, archival perez, jerdick marinas, oliver dorado and peter tapia, orlandp cruz [ipapasara ko yang shell mamplasan na yan eh di ka na bumalik!], ava cabrera [thanks for leading the prayer], shiela sajulan [ang aga mo friend!], monica almeida [despite the harassing day she had, she still came-and ever pretty pa din], lourdes tagum [the ever-dyoza who came in a very revealing attire, sorry sa mga di nakakita], marius landicho, pamela andaya, jocelyn vallo-medina [thanks sa pancit po!], johna ramirez [and rabi], marvin castro [mr.bigtime!], the three most beautiful women that night --- liberty puyal, kathleen buenaflor and laiza cano-acosta, madema flores [panyera!], angelito calupitan [panyero!], genesis diaz [maraming salamat po!], our CAT officers --- dickson raymundo, ernest hader, jhigz edquilag, larmi ortega-de mesa and heidi balsicas, mga ka-tagay --- francis hasil, jerico camasosa, arvin gavino, randy pineda, don manzano, omar lopez [the last two being the culprits why i had gone from sober to uber-wasted], maan miranda, roxanne feliciano and milen remolacio, and the very charming emcee that night, thea albaytar [single pa po,hehe]... THANK YOU.

for those who did not show up? i am assuring you, you may not miss a lot, but still you missed something =p

'til 2006.

extremely belated holiday greetings

Better late than never, as they say, so... MERRY CHRISTMAS! Here's hoping you had a Christmas celeb with your family, relatives, friends and/or loved ones. Mine went well, despite the experience of cramming to have my nephew and niece's gifts wrapped up on the eleventh hour! The family's complete. The food is great [I experimented on a recipe that my 'roomie' Tria shared with me, Buffalo Wings! Fortunately, my crowd bought the almost-adobo-tinola-pseudo-buffalo-wings!]. The following day, like we always do, the family went to Dad's hometown in Bay, Laguna. The following days passed swiftly. I had to prepare my case reports due January, and they total A HUNDRED AND EIGHT! I had to buy gifts, wrap them, as an errand for Mom. And, I have a MOCK REUNION to organize. Add to that the burden of having a really bad sore throat, occasional fever and runny nose. It is an irony to call it a 'break' huh! Nonetheless, things went well. It was another merry Christmas! =)