last wednesday, my sister and i went to the st. clare monastery in katipunan. the monastery is a solace amidst the irresolute traffic of worries that has pervaded my mind lately. it is, as the cliche goes, a piece of heaven in earth. there was this line that was posted near the "offertory area" that has attracted my attention, which, i would like to share. that line has inspired me a lot which i am now sharing, with a hope that anyone who gets a view of my blog will be inspired as well. believe me, from that time that i have read it, i was filled with hope (not expectation =)) that HE will grant my prayers... it was a line from st. clare herself, which says:
"DO NOT EASILY BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE HELPLESS - FOR EVEN IN THE SMALLEST OF RESOURCES, THERE IS A MIRACLE IN MAKING."
Amen. =)
Friday, March 25, 2005
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
faith
i am neither smart, witty, not even lucky. i just happen to be blessed by my Creator.
in turbulent times like these, i only attribute whatever strength i have to HIM. i find it difficult to wake up each morning knowing that my days are "numbered." plus the fact that the uncertainty grows each waking hour. and there is nothing i can do about it! i can think about it all i want but it would never guarantee a seat in the benedictine abbey come april 12. neither will it solve anything. all i have been doing for the past days is eat, tv, play with my nephew,net,clean my room - and recently, pray.
i 'was' a prayerful person. since childhood, i would write messages to God about my pets, my favorite actresses, anything i could think of. the religosity started to wane in highschool when i was beset by self-created problems. and i got really "lost" back in college when atheism is a curiousity dying to be fed. but probably, He has a way of bringing me back. I got into loads of worries with my calculi (calculus, in its plural form, hehe) and my economics classes. I don't know what brought me to Katipunan Ave. --- the St. Clare Monastery. Until now, I cannot clearly figure out how I got there; all I could remember was it turned into my refuge come examinations day. It wasn't luck i know. It was Him, with the intercession of the Blessed Mother and the prayers of my St. Clare...I passed all my subjects.
san beda law has enormously kept my faith in its pinnacle. with each uncertain, horrifying day spent, there is no one I could have leaned on but Him. and now, as I am faced with the most uncertain and most horrifying day of my life, my wall of rock, my refuge is HIM.
whenever I think about these current worry pressing my entirety, HIS figure pops out, HIS words come flashing, there is no need for worry for HE is there. As what was written in the Monastery of St. Clare, in each small thing, there is always a miracle. and i am leaving all to HIS care. I am trusting HIM that HE would bless me this small miracle, for my parents happiness and mine as well.
i am leaving all up to you now, BOSS. YOU are all i have.
in turbulent times like these, i only attribute whatever strength i have to HIM. i find it difficult to wake up each morning knowing that my days are "numbered." plus the fact that the uncertainty grows each waking hour. and there is nothing i can do about it! i can think about it all i want but it would never guarantee a seat in the benedictine abbey come april 12. neither will it solve anything. all i have been doing for the past days is eat, tv, play with my nephew,net,clean my room - and recently, pray.
i 'was' a prayerful person. since childhood, i would write messages to God about my pets, my favorite actresses, anything i could think of. the religosity started to wane in highschool when i was beset by self-created problems. and i got really "lost" back in college when atheism is a curiousity dying to be fed. but probably, He has a way of bringing me back. I got into loads of worries with my calculi (calculus, in its plural form, hehe) and my economics classes. I don't know what brought me to Katipunan Ave. --- the St. Clare Monastery. Until now, I cannot clearly figure out how I got there; all I could remember was it turned into my refuge come examinations day. It wasn't luck i know. It was Him, with the intercession of the Blessed Mother and the prayers of my St. Clare...I passed all my subjects.
san beda law has enormously kept my faith in its pinnacle. with each uncertain, horrifying day spent, there is no one I could have leaned on but Him. and now, as I am faced with the most uncertain and most horrifying day of my life, my wall of rock, my refuge is HIM.
whenever I think about these current worry pressing my entirety, HIS figure pops out, HIS words come flashing, there is no need for worry for HE is there. As what was written in the Monastery of St. Clare, in each small thing, there is always a miracle. and i am leaving all to HIS care. I am trusting HIM that HE would bless me this small miracle, for my parents happiness and mine as well.
i am leaving all up to you now, BOSS. YOU are all i have.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
paranoia at its peak
fourteen days from now, my life will be decided.
to become a lawyer is not really a childhood dream in my case. it's unbelievable but my career plan when i was a grader is to become a nun. i do not know how i landed in political science in college. to earn a degree in psychology or in accountancy was my belated aspiration (it came a few months after i have taken the upcat exam). to go to law school is not a surprise to the people around me. but for me, it was.
political science is a heavy stuff that i bore with for four years. perhaps, to learn something exciting... and also to escape the probable status of being unemployed - i tried on law school. like some stiletto that would look so nice, law school is pretty much "painful" as well. my brain has earned callouses which would be a no-match to the 17 years i have devoted in school (getting to school at 3 years old). i have lost and gained a lot of things while i drove through the freaky ride.
things i lost: a lovelife (and has consistently lost), a social life (as if!), most importantly, my self-esteem. each class is a harrowing experience especially for complacent and "i-rely-on-my-logic" people like i am. from my once uber proud opinion of my self, i have developed a high quality low regard of myself.
things i gained: weight, pimples, layers of "bilbil." each harrowing class is equivalent to loads of carbo, chocolates and carbonated drinks that i have to stuff myself with - only to survive the wee hours trying to ingest as well the loads of assignment for next day's recitations.
five years in law school is something that i will always cherish. not only because of the friendships built with classmates who have witnessed the worst in me, but also it has given me the idea that i am still able of doing things - and i have done a lot of things i love. not to mention all the unrequited love that has stormed my five years in law school.
and i hope come march 29, they will allow me to mark my five year journey with a wonderful blast --- that i finally graduate on april 12, 2005 --- my only wish.
to become a lawyer is not really a childhood dream in my case. it's unbelievable but my career plan when i was a grader is to become a nun. i do not know how i landed in political science in college. to earn a degree in psychology or in accountancy was my belated aspiration (it came a few months after i have taken the upcat exam). to go to law school is not a surprise to the people around me. but for me, it was.
political science is a heavy stuff that i bore with for four years. perhaps, to learn something exciting... and also to escape the probable status of being unemployed - i tried on law school. like some stiletto that would look so nice, law school is pretty much "painful" as well. my brain has earned callouses which would be a no-match to the 17 years i have devoted in school (getting to school at 3 years old). i have lost and gained a lot of things while i drove through the freaky ride.
things i lost: a lovelife (and has consistently lost), a social life (as if!), most importantly, my self-esteem. each class is a harrowing experience especially for complacent and "i-rely-on-my-logic" people like i am. from my once uber proud opinion of my self, i have developed a high quality low regard of myself.
things i gained: weight, pimples, layers of "bilbil." each harrowing class is equivalent to loads of carbo, chocolates and carbonated drinks that i have to stuff myself with - only to survive the wee hours trying to ingest as well the loads of assignment for next day's recitations.
five years in law school is something that i will always cherish. not only because of the friendships built with classmates who have witnessed the worst in me, but also it has given me the idea that i am still able of doing things - and i have done a lot of things i love. not to mention all the unrequited love that has stormed my five years in law school.
and i hope come march 29, they will allow me to mark my five year journey with a wonderful blast --- that i finally graduate on april 12, 2005 --- my only wish.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
15 minutes
two exams down. three to go.
i was supposed to be on my "second round" of reviewing the eight subjects for my exams tomorrow. commercial law [or mercantile law] is not my cup of tea [as if i have one, parang all of the subjects nga in the bar exams i am ignoramus of].
i was supposed to be "sleepless." but i am not. i just had eight wonderful hours of sleep.
i am just hopin that in a few hours the fright, and all the nerbyos would make me really praning so that all the adrenaline would send me back in my room...
ah, the drama that is law school.
i was supposed to be on my "second round" of reviewing the eight subjects for my exams tomorrow. commercial law [or mercantile law] is not my cup of tea [as if i have one, parang all of the subjects nga in the bar exams i am ignoramus of].
i was supposed to be "sleepless." but i am not. i just had eight wonderful hours of sleep.
i am just hopin that in a few hours the fright, and all the nerbyos would make me really praning so that all the adrenaline would send me back in my room...
ah, the drama that is law school.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
finals
| i am about to take the last final exams in my life --- God-willing. this is all i ever wanted in my life (aside from taking the bar once and passing it), and i am bargaining even my chance of walking down the aisle just to attain these two "wishes" in my life. please include me in your prayers. [p.s. ergo, i am about to commence my hibernation starting tonight =)]table id="HB_Mail_Container" height="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0" unselectable="on">
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