I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
-- Pablo Neruda
~~~ i hope you will be able to listen to madonna's rendition, ay, makes me wanna wail!
Saturday, August 12, 2006
happy feast day!
belated greetings to my dearest dearest saint clare of assisi!!!
yesterday was her feast day. i don't know whether it was her birthday, or the day she died or the day she was canonized - all i know is that this is one of the rarest moments that i get to show her how i truly value her.
she has always been there for me. i can't exactly recall how i got to know about the monastery in cubao. katipunan simply meant pigging out with blockmates or purchasing school stuffs at national bookstore. all i remember is how st. clare has helped me for a decade now.
from math 17 (algebra and trigo combined) to math 100 (intro to calculus) ~ both becoming doubled figures (sorry im such a loser when it comes to numbers), to four econ subjects ~ ah, we've been through it all. and of course, the friendship grew deeper as i was thrown to san beda law. law school sure is though. st.jude provided me with much needed support - but, st.clare's comfort (probably because we are both girls) is whole lotta different. thank heavens for the lrt-line2, it's much accessible going to katips to visit her and deafen her ears for my persistent pleas of lettin me pass this subject, or increase my QPI, or finally allowing me to graduate in beda. then of course, the bar exams was a big ordeal for the two of us. she has to bear with my pangungulit for months - prior to taking it and after going through it (bloodied, may i say!).
not only did she came to my rescue with all the "academic-related" favors that i ask of her, she was also the one who interceded for my family and i during those moments that daddy had a massive stomach operation in 1999 and mom had a hysterectomy just last year. dad's operation, by coincidence or i don't know, was scheduled the same day that her feast is being celebrated. dad had gallstones removed at a nearby village's hospital which isn't supposed to be as complicated (were it not for the fact that not all doctors are brilliant). however, we have to rush him to specialists at makati med to 'correct' the mistake that was committed by the local hospital. he was in a real critical situtation then but st.clare helped us ask God for an extension of the lease of life. dad's in good shape now. mom on the other hand, had to undergo an operation for the removal of her uterus. since i was taking the dreaded bar exams september, we prayed that the doctor will forego the operation for october (she had herself checked august kasi). she had a smooth operation october last year at asian hospital. st. clare from then became a "family friend."
i left office early yesterday to attend the mass and see my 'favoritest' saint on her day. met with my sister at her office then proceeded to the really crowded monastery. it was a surprise to my sister (she said kasi on ordinary days that we've been there, di ganun kadami ang tao). last year of course, i brought jen and tria with me kaya i expected that it'll be the same this year. true enough. and i was so happy to attend the mass, greet st. clare personally and finally ask her for something the two of us have long disregarded. =D
again, happy feast day st. clare! thank you not only for the answered, unanswered and yet-to-be answered prayers, but more importantly, for listening to me and bringing me back to Him whenever i get lost! i love you. =D
by the way, here's her lifestory!
Saint Clare of Assisi
By Rev. Rebecca
"O blessed poverty, who bestows eternal riches on those who love and embrace her!"
Saint Clare is one of the Church's holiest and most beloved saints. She was the first female follower of Saint Francis of Assisi and may have been the one who best understood and followed Francis' vocation, spirit, and way of life. Francis and Clare had an enduring relationship of mutual support and care.
From a young age Clare was pious and spritually astute and was known to give away her father's possessions to the poor despite being chastised for it. At the age of 12 she heard Saint Francis preach and aspired to be like him one day, dedicating her life to God in purity and love.
As a young woman Clare met Saint Francis and told him of her desires. He believed her to have a true vocation to religious life. She told her family of her desire but they refused her permission to become a Franciscan religious and sought to dissuade her.
On Palm Sunday Clare was given a palm by the Bishop and she belived that to be her sign from God. Late one night Clare snuck out of her house and where she met Francis and his Friars. She went with them to the Porziuncola and there she cut off all of her hair, took the veil, and made her vows of poverty and chastity to Saint Francis as his follower. He placed her in a local Benedictine monastery initially where she could safely live out her vocation.
Soon her younger sister Agnes desired to join Clare in Franciscan poverty. Her family was so upset that they beat Agnes in an attempt to dissuade her, but Agnes ran away and managed to join Clare despite these trials. Ironically, Clare's own mother joined the Order when she was widowed many years later.
Clare and Agnes longed for a community of their own and soon Francis made preparations for them to move into the Monastery of San Damiano where Clare was made Abbess. They organized their lives around prayer, work, and holy poverty, living only on alms. St. Clare drew up a Rule to live by as more and more women began joining the community. The Order was named the "Poor Ladies" or "Poor Clares" and soon numerous convents were founded all over the country in the Claretian tradition.
Many miracles took place among St. Clare and her sisters. It is reported that when they began to run out of oil and bread, miraculous multiplications would take place so that the sisters never went hungry. Legend has it that when Pope Gregory IX dined with the sisters he asked Clare to bless the bread. After her prayer, crosses miraculously appeared on the tops of all the loaves. When the Tartars and Saracens attempted to invade the Monastery, Clare held up the Blessed Sacrament in a monstrance and repelled them, keeping her and her sisters safe. It is also said that when Clare made the sign of the cross over ailing persons they would be healed.
Saint Clare lived a rigorously devoted life of prayer, penance, and service. She continually cared for her sisters, particularly the weak, and all those in need. She would meditate on the Passion of Jesus and pray for many hours every day on her knees. During her many hours of prayer Clare sometimes had incredible visions of the Lord and his angels.
Like Francis, Clare lived in harmony with God's creatures and had a special affinity for animals. They were drawn to her and seemed to understand her. According to her sisters, she was once in need of a napkin, and a cat, seemingly understanding her need, went and brought it to her.
After 29 years of religious life, Clare died in 1253 and was buried in the Church of Saint George. Countless miracles have occurred at her grave site and through her intercession. The Church of Saint George later became the home for the Poor Clares and a basillica and hospice were built on that site. Saint Clare's Feast Day is celebrated on August 11. She is the patron of technology.
yesterday was her feast day. i don't know whether it was her birthday, or the day she died or the day she was canonized - all i know is that this is one of the rarest moments that i get to show her how i truly value her.
she has always been there for me. i can't exactly recall how i got to know about the monastery in cubao. katipunan simply meant pigging out with blockmates or purchasing school stuffs at national bookstore. all i remember is how st. clare has helped me for a decade now.
from math 17 (algebra and trigo combined) to math 100 (intro to calculus) ~ both becoming doubled figures (sorry im such a loser when it comes to numbers), to four econ subjects ~ ah, we've been through it all. and of course, the friendship grew deeper as i was thrown to san beda law. law school sure is though. st.jude provided me with much needed support - but, st.clare's comfort (probably because we are both girls) is whole lotta different. thank heavens for the lrt-line2, it's much accessible going to katips to visit her and deafen her ears for my persistent pleas of lettin me pass this subject, or increase my QPI, or finally allowing me to graduate in beda. then of course, the bar exams was a big ordeal for the two of us. she has to bear with my pangungulit for months - prior to taking it and after going through it (bloodied, may i say!).
not only did she came to my rescue with all the "academic-related" favors that i ask of her, she was also the one who interceded for my family and i during those moments that daddy had a massive stomach operation in 1999 and mom had a hysterectomy just last year. dad's operation, by coincidence or i don't know, was scheduled the same day that her feast is being celebrated. dad had gallstones removed at a nearby village's hospital which isn't supposed to be as complicated (were it not for the fact that not all doctors are brilliant). however, we have to rush him to specialists at makati med to 'correct' the mistake that was committed by the local hospital. he was in a real critical situtation then but st.clare helped us ask God for an extension of the lease of life. dad's in good shape now. mom on the other hand, had to undergo an operation for the removal of her uterus. since i was taking the dreaded bar exams september, we prayed that the doctor will forego the operation for october (she had herself checked august kasi). she had a smooth operation october last year at asian hospital. st. clare from then became a "family friend."
i left office early yesterday to attend the mass and see my 'favoritest' saint on her day. met with my sister at her office then proceeded to the really crowded monastery. it was a surprise to my sister (she said kasi on ordinary days that we've been there, di ganun kadami ang tao). last year of course, i brought jen and tria with me kaya i expected that it'll be the same this year. true enough. and i was so happy to attend the mass, greet st. clare personally and finally ask her for something the two of us have long disregarded. =D
again, happy feast day st. clare! thank you not only for the answered, unanswered and yet-to-be answered prayers, but more importantly, for listening to me and bringing me back to Him whenever i get lost! i love you. =D
by the way, here's her lifestory!
Saint Clare of Assisi
By Rev. Rebecca
"O blessed poverty, who bestows eternal riches on those who love and embrace her!"
Saint Clare is one of the Church's holiest and most beloved saints. She was the first female follower of Saint Francis of Assisi and may have been the one who best understood and followed Francis' vocation, spirit, and way of life. Francis and Clare had an enduring relationship of mutual support and care.
From a young age Clare was pious and spritually astute and was known to give away her father's possessions to the poor despite being chastised for it. At the age of 12 she heard Saint Francis preach and aspired to be like him one day, dedicating her life to God in purity and love.
As a young woman Clare met Saint Francis and told him of her desires. He believed her to have a true vocation to religious life. She told her family of her desire but they refused her permission to become a Franciscan religious and sought to dissuade her.
On Palm Sunday Clare was given a palm by the Bishop and she belived that to be her sign from God. Late one night Clare snuck out of her house and where she met Francis and his Friars. She went with them to the Porziuncola and there she cut off all of her hair, took the veil, and made her vows of poverty and chastity to Saint Francis as his follower. He placed her in a local Benedictine monastery initially where she could safely live out her vocation.
Soon her younger sister Agnes desired to join Clare in Franciscan poverty. Her family was so upset that they beat Agnes in an attempt to dissuade her, but Agnes ran away and managed to join Clare despite these trials. Ironically, Clare's own mother joined the Order when she was widowed many years later.
Clare and Agnes longed for a community of their own and soon Francis made preparations for them to move into the Monastery of San Damiano where Clare was made Abbess. They organized their lives around prayer, work, and holy poverty, living only on alms. St. Clare drew up a Rule to live by as more and more women began joining the community. The Order was named the "Poor Ladies" or "Poor Clares" and soon numerous convents were founded all over the country in the Claretian tradition.
Many miracles took place among St. Clare and her sisters. It is reported that when they began to run out of oil and bread, miraculous multiplications would take place so that the sisters never went hungry. Legend has it that when Pope Gregory IX dined with the sisters he asked Clare to bless the bread. After her prayer, crosses miraculously appeared on the tops of all the loaves. When the Tartars and Saracens attempted to invade the Monastery, Clare held up the Blessed Sacrament in a monstrance and repelled them, keeping her and her sisters safe. It is also said that when Clare made the sign of the cross over ailing persons they would be healed.
Saint Clare lived a rigorously devoted life of prayer, penance, and service. She continually cared for her sisters, particularly the weak, and all those in need. She would meditate on the Passion of Jesus and pray for many hours every day on her knees. During her many hours of prayer Clare sometimes had incredible visions of the Lord and his angels.
Like Francis, Clare lived in harmony with God's creatures and had a special affinity for animals. They were drawn to her and seemed to understand her. According to her sisters, she was once in need of a napkin, and a cat, seemingly understanding her need, went and brought it to her.
After 29 years of religious life, Clare died in 1253 and was buried in the Church of Saint George. Countless miracles have occurred at her grave site and through her intercession. The Church of Saint George later became the home for the Poor Clares and a basillica and hospice were built on that site. Saint Clare's Feast Day is celebrated on August 11. She is the patron of technology.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
agree with me, or else...
i so love this email sent to me by maan, a.k.a. helen. hehe! read on...
The one that got away
Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.
If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
...whenever the phrase "the one that got away" flashes in my mind, no face but his bolts my senses. still him. i could only sigh.
The one that got away
Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.
If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
...whenever the phrase "the one that got away" flashes in my mind, no face but his bolts my senses. still him. i could only sigh.
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