sinong weird?

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

blogthing #1

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give completely and unconditionally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

cocoon

i guess, for everyone's satsfaction...

just a q

i want to know how i can make this major crushie of mine fall for me...kahit na nga not that much eh. basta, at least notice me. =D

facts: i met him year 2000, 2nd sem, beda law. we became textmates [make that, i texted him first kasi i stalked on him, hehehe]. we got to talk on the phone. he's nice. one fine day, his blockmate [who was my former dormmate back in UP], K, approached me. she was in tears. she said she was afraid that this guy might be mad at him for having given his number to me. she thinks he was suspecting her to be the culprit why i got his number. i admitted to K, and apologized, that i told this guy clues as to from whom i got his number. i assured K that all will be well and that "he" will not get mad at her. i even promised that i'll stay away from "him" only to appease her and save their friendship. that day, mustering all my guts, and in the midst of my preparation for my crim2 class, i texted him and asked where he is, "we need to talk", i added.

taking a deep breath, kinalabit ko siya even if he seemed so immersed in whatever he was reading at that time. i nervously babbled my monolgue, "hey i am tin, the one who was textin you. thank you for being nice to me. however, i think i cannot be your friend anymore. let us just think that we never even met. just please don't get mad at K. don't consider me your friend na, si K na lang." he butted in that he was not mad at K, that everything's okay. i insisted however that, that his friendship with K is worth a lot. and finally reminded him to be nice to K.

after that, we would still chance at bumping each other at the library. there was even this occasion while i was preparing for the oblicon midterms, uttering loudly the hundreds of provisions, along the hallway of our lib, that he approached me. he quipped seryoso ah to which i responded oo eh, kailangan,dami pa nga eh. then i went on with my reading, and then he left.

there were various instances when he tried to greet me or smile at me, but, i stayed away, thinking it was harmful to his friendship with K. eventually though, he got the hang of it. we acted as though we didn't know each other. there came a point when i regretted having said those things and acted that way. but there was no turning back. we became colleagues in our school paper, but still, it's as if we don't know each other. if we chanced seeing each other along the corridors, it's either i or he who acts as if we were busy doing something. i think he knew i liked him. my makukulit na orgmates/friends who's a friend of his would tease us often. one of them even tried asking him for a date...blind date daw pero ako yun, hehehe. but of course, all to no avail.

until on our third year in law school, february 2003, i was informed by our common friend that he and a are now a couple. it was so devastating. especially during those times that there were pressworks where i had to endure being with him, breathing the same cold air [from the karag-karag aircon], staying awake with him til morning. then of course, uwian na, when he dashes out na lang bigla. it was so hurting. susme, may sakit ba akong nakakahawa? alam naman niya na pareho kami na southbound, na dapat man lang isabay nya ako kasi ala na ako kasabay. then the dedmahan drama went on, until he graduated.

there were of course magical moments, when we wished each other luck during our respective bar exams. but it's all there is. efren, his classmate and my good friend, once texted me (after their batch's drinking bout that night), blaming me. ako daw may kasalanan why the friendship "died." "binabati ka naman daw pala, kaw lang ang umiiwas." i texted back, "kung ayaw maraming dahilan, kung gusto maraming paraan." efren retorted, "ayaw lang maging feeling."

hay naku, if you are reading this now [as if you care, no?!], please let me love you. sige na. di naman ako mahirap mahalin. i'll make myself worthy of your affection, pwamis! di ka magsisisi! one-time lang! walang no-return, no-exchange policy! hehehe... truly! =)

issue: how can i make him fall for me, then? any suggestions? =D

the law firm

don't get me wrong. im still your regular inarteng bum. =D
i just happened to watch, luckily at that (kasi di ako nakapanood last tuesday), the finale episode of
The Law Firm. it is a reality show wherein great US lawyer Roy Black picks the best from among twelve lawyers. this is how the show was described by tv.yahoo.com:

PREMIERE DATE:July 2005

SHOW DESCRIPTION:"The Law Firm," from Emmy Award-winning producer David E. Kelley, features real lawyers competing against each other while trying real court cases with real clients -- in front of real judges and juries, resulting in outcomes that are final, legal and binding for the parties. Premier trial attorney and legal analyst Roy Black is the managing partner of "The Law Firm"; as such, Black will decide which of the twelve "legal eagles" will be eliminated in each episode. Smart, strong-willed and fiercely competitive, the attorneys work together in different teams each week, battling tight deadlines, intense pressure and even each other as they strategize and prepare and try their cases. The compelling cases range from First Amendment issues to neighbor disputes to wrongful death. Distinguished judges will decide some of the cases, while a jury determines the others. In the end, the top attorney will win a prize of $250,000.

BRIEF HISTORY:David E. Kelley, David Garfinkle, Jay Renfroe, Jonathan Pontell and Robert Breech are the executive producers. NBC yanked "The Law Firm" on Aug. 9 2005, following just two weeks on the air in which it averaged a meager 4.5 million viewers, but sister network but Bravo found a place on its schedule for the reality series.

from the very start, my bet has been Olivier Taillieu. he is sooo gwapo,
his eyes will really enchant you... hay. =) he has his own style in fighting for the cause of the litigant to which his group was assigned. suwabe. cool. so whenever he does not get "dismissed" each episode, i feel so heavenly happy talaga. unfortunately though, he did not bag the "first place." michael cavalluzzi did, my least liked and most hated lawyer amongst twelve of them. ang angas ng dating nya, as far as i am concerned ha. yeah he could be really witty at times, but real nasty, even to his groupmates.
he yells, he "bites" the others. sobrang competitive in an unhealthy sort of way.


the others are as good lawyers also. although some do not impress me that much. say regina for example, for me, she is the female counterpart of michael. annoying. ang bossy na kia (a.k.a. know-it-all). both olivier and i do not like her (hahaha! feeling close!). there are those whom i did not even notice, like elizabeth, jason and anika. although medyo striking si anika kasi she was the first one who was dismissed, or was it the asian lass kelly chang? basta yun. chris is also a-okay. strong contender. crim law ata field nya talaga. then there's barrett na parang laging windang. i also like keith, handsome din eh, but only next to olivier ha. he is also magaling and i think he and olivier make a really good tandem. then there is deep and aileen. these two complete the top four. but the first one to be eliminated among the four of them was deep. he made a really huge mistake according to roy black daw when he missed something with the direct exam ata. aileen became olivier's ka-loveteam. hmpf! i think though that she is overrated. perhaps para lang din ma-entice the female viewers and convince them na gender discrimination does not exist. dapat sila chris and keith ang kasama sa top 4 nila olivier and michael.

michael won the $250,000.00. i was not able to watch what the case was all about but i think it was, based from the evaluation made by roy black after the decision was handed, that it was michael who won. he never lost a case pa talaga, except one. olivier lost all the cases he handled. that's how brilliant he is, kahit talo sa case, roy black still found him magnificent.

sa 'pinas kaya wala nito? sino kasali? rene saguisag? kiko pangilinan? ed angara? bonifacio alentajan? billy balbastro? atty aga? raymond fortun? jpe? miriam defensor-santiago? hmmm... interesting. parang pbb na. =)

p.s. sana magiging boss ko mala-olivier. kahit di na ako umuwi ng bahay and forever sa office na lang! and please, no michaels, or worse, reginas.

happy post v-day day! [mi paborita dia]

it's over.

hehehe. feeling may relationship! anyways, how was everybody's feb14? et moi? just so glad that it is all over.

i was not so happy about having to go out on this day most lovers call "the" day. a tiring day it was, with so much people coming out from god-knows-where! ang daming tao, sobra! i was so pissed off kasi the mall's so filled with people, moreso, eewww, lovers! make that “oh-so-mushy” lovers, clutching their trophies, este, big bunches of flowers! the flowers seemed like some status symbol that i feel flaming pissed! grrr... di nyo ba alam how many flowers had to be "killed" and how much profit the capitalists got by patronizing this day?!

but i had my share of happiness though. =D

one, i had my starbucks cafe latte (i was so craving to get this hot fix) with matching cutie give-away pa ha, early in the morning! let me skip the part where i saw many messengers parading, carrying flowers which had to be delivered (umupo ba naman sa may “window” side eh)…

second, i had a wonderful mass at greenbelt's sto. nino de paz chapel. the priest was so gwapo! hehehe... the homily was really great! love homily daw yun. he mentioned three trivial things about love, as he put it. bitin muna. i’ll blog about it later na lang. it deserves an entire entry devoted to it.

and third, yipeee!!!! two packs of my favorite, REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!
it's so sarap talaga. i bought them noh! why would i rely on someone else to purchase one for me?! hehe… anyways, the peanut butter cups taste really really superbly delicious! it has a chocolatey outside and peanut butter crumby inside! ask my good friend, ped, who shares with me the same veneration for this sweet treat from hershey's.

what a day twas...
no flowers? check!
no date? check!
happy? put a double check on that. =)

how?

i was wondering... how is it possible for a person who has loved another, moreso if the love was that intense, just simply forget the other? how does he/she do it? and move on, as nonchalantly as if there was nothing that happened.

what i meant was, this person entered into a relationship with the other, right? of course, good faith being presumed, it was all out of love. he/she fell for the other. he/she perfectly knew who this person is, unless of course, he/she was hypnotized. putting deception and all the nutty ideas aside, he/she loved the other knowing what the consequences are. and this person should at least know what is being risked, what he/she is laying down.

what am i exactly driving at? how could one person love another, then in a snap, not love that other person anymore? how is it possible? yeah, some things may change. change is inevitable. but, that person should assume that the person he loves will never be the same. he/she should have anticipated that. in the same way, he/she should have not turned his/her back on the other simply because there is a possibility that things may no longer work as he/she had expected. aren't there any way to deal with it?

i have always believed in the pinoy saying, "pag may gusto, may paraan; pag ayaw, maraming dahilan."

i only hope that people will realize that what they are dealing with are emotions, emotions that a fellow human feels and deals with for his/her entire life. and that, each action always has its repercussion. love isn't some feeling brought about by the hypothalamus. it is a decision, a choice, that one has to take responsibility for.

it just pains me that i can still feel the repercussions, and that i am still at a loss why something that was so wonderful just ended like that.

of proms and barbecues

disclaimer: no sleep + project 8 rendezvous + brainstorming + coffee = non-sensical thinking

if i am now in high school, on my third or fourth year, last night would have been our juniors and seniors prom.

it's not that we were not able to hold one a decade ago [ay, napaghahalata], it's just that this feb thing has been like one LSS [read: last song syndrome] that keeps on sticking in my mind and has brought so many eerie ghosts from the past.

it would be gory to go over the details of how our prom went. but i will! only to veer away from the debasing almost-legal-holiday-ish v-day that most filipinos fuss about... not to mention the fun of it all! so, join me as i reminisce! hey, niq, demz, jayr, gen and cleo, let's get it on!

our third year in high school. syempre, most, if not, all of us are sorta thrilled with what happens during the prom night. you know, crushes plus dances is equivalent to one splendid anticipation [o ako lang? hehe]. first timers, eh. of course, add to that the fact that it is one night when girls are supposed to do the works, make-up, outfit, poise! pretty exciting for the boys, too. it is one grand excuse to talk to a crush, dance with her and hold her hand! hehehe...

ours was not as impressive as most proms in other schools are. not even close. venue pa lang, walang ka-impre-impression! JS proms in our school are always held within the confines of our quadrangle [as in apat na sulok talaga, literally!]. it usually commences with the "march" or "parade", whatever you call it, of all the third year and fourth year students towards their 'places.' then the ceremonies start, usually prepared by monique's favorite teacher, hehe. turnover of key [susi ata ni san pedro tinuturn over! ang laki sobra! as in exag!], exchange of candles [exag, aakyat ka sa stage para lang makipagpalit ng rose sa fourth year for a candle], reading of the last will [notarial o holographic? hehehe... it's the school paper ed-in-chief with the bequests, legacies and devises...exciting on my part, akala ko nun ako na yung maria clara, hehe], and then the cotillon de honor [i was then the oh-so-unfortunate "debutant" who has to sashay with a pink gown, dancing opposite a guy monique fondly knew, tapos nag-brownout! bwahahaha!]. i believe the latter was my class adviser's way of taking her sweet, sweet revenge [love nya kasi ako, hehe!]. the experience was so horrible. add to that the "menu" of what is supposed-to-be an elegant night - barbecue, sandwich, zesto, and a piece of mentos. swak di ba! hehehe... and mind you, despite donning formal attires, the class presidents have to go to the newsroom to get the food and deliver them to their classmates. eto pa, all "prom-mers" have to eat without any table at all [lap na lang]. how classy, ei! =D

despite and in spite of all these inconveniences [a.k.a. 'sana di na lang nag-prom'], i believe that each of us still has his or her own wonderful story to tell. something that they will treasure for the rest of their lives. mine was as simple as being able to dance with a person whom at that time i loved so much, notwithstanding the fact that we have just called it off three months before the prom. the happiness was inexplicable, perhaps, it was like having a night as cinderella had.

fourth year was a whole lot different. kasi ba naman, kayo na ang siga. =) the ambiance [or the lack of it] was still very much the same [we were seated kasi on the same side as in third year]. the food that was served did not change at all, if i remember it correctly. and the music? i can still recall mariah carey and boyzIImen's voices[one sweet day non-stop] as if it was just yesterday. then there are male classmates who kept their vows to dance with all their girl classmates. nakakatuwa. but, my excitement was much bigger than the previous year. iba na po nagagawa ng may boyfriend [guaranteed dance! hehehe]. it was so magical. i don't know. i danced with the same person the previous year and yet, i was more ecstatic. =D

summing it all up, my fourth year prom has lifted my spirits way above the first one. highly inconceivable as most 'firsts' are considered better than the succeeding ones. maybe because it wasn't just cinderella's night. it was my night.

i am of the opinion that indeed, proms are one of the girls' sweetest memories in life. it is like one enchanted evening that she is bound to look back at eternally. i know not of the reason. the lovely dress? perhaps. or it was a grand excusable excuse to be intimate with thy beloved? could be. or the fun spent with friends? probably. all i know is that it is something to be treasured forever. i know. because i still do.

feb craze

disclaimer: all of these,certainly, are things of the past. so i expect no death threats! =D

i hate february. the too much commercialization of the day that can only be genuinely celebrated by lovers is such a pain in the neck. the lovebug starting to inch its way on each couple you see is a sore in the eye. nuisance per se! and of course, who could ever forget the fact that roads are jammed with lots of vehicles, and the restaurants, even the not-so-fine-dining ones, are all suddenly so filled up that you would suddenly ask yourself if the philippines is really going down the drain, economically-speaking.

however, since i do not have the power YET to stop this plague that befalls this country every second month of the year (YET means that i will in the future... i will run for a position in the government and pass a bill prohibiting the celebration of the v-day, hehe), i might as well, join the parade. =D hesitant at that okay.

no, i do not have a testosterone-fueled creature accompany me despising this month. and i do not intend to get myself one. let me just enumerate all the testosterone-clad species i "admired/had an infatuation on/almost fell for/fell really hard for" since time immemorial. this is of course, by virtue of the inspiration i got from niq and demz' blogs.

here it goes, the very few i found attractive, the duration of the said infatuation and the reasons why i liked them:

1. ERIC - my grade one crushie. he's chinito and smart. the neatest boy in class.
2. DENNIS - smart science geek. he's the smartest in grade 4-st.michael. first three weeks of june.
3. ROMMEL - mr. "yuck! kamukha raw ni aljon"!!! hehe... tall, smart, matangos na ilong, funny. i adored the guy okay - for one school year in grade four and the first five months of grade five!
4. ALEX - witty, looks really kind (di ko pa po sya friend nun so it was only when we became friends that i realized that my impression of him was correct) and neat, sobrang puti, mas maputi pa sa akin. grade four.
5. RANDY LLOYD - first, the volleyball skills. then, the meek, cute eyes and the small, tangos and pointed nose. then all else followed. =) my ultimate first love. ahehehe...si tarts. march 5 and january 1...september 1990 until 2000 (i guess...), dekada!
6. JEMILLE - wala lang. only because he had a crush on me. hehehe.
7. ALEXANDER B. - that piercing, mysterious eyes. math district quiz bee champ. grade six til first year. i saw him again in up diliman. then, after a year of seeing him just bum around, he got a girl pregnant. ayos! di ako yun.
8. ABE ROY - angelic face. he was the class escort of I-Faraday. i found him cute for three months during 1st year.
9. JOSEPH BRANDO - ay, the school's smarty hunk. mala-brendan fraser.
10. ANDRYAN - nice eyes. and the 'do that's so florante and laura-ish. first seven months of 2nd year.
11. OMAR - makulit kasi ereng taong to. and so neat, daig ako. he's now the kada's doctor. just some passing fancy during 2nd year.
12. DERICK - volleyball skills. intrams. =)
13. RAMIL - suplado, sobra. 2nd year.
14. CEZAR - an altar boy at our parish church. bait. summer crushie.
15. GERALD - another altar boy, the older one though, and cuter. saw him last december, we were standing beside each other during one of the misa de gallo's and it's so funny remembering about that summer escapade. =)
16. RONALD - another altar boy, the younger one.
17. RJ - during third year, he was my vice-pres, III-shelley. we became really close because of... hehe... just that. got really comfortable with him. eventually though, i became his confidante, with respect to "miss dunkin donut-october 25" and later on shared the grueling experience of learning how to forget a lost love.
18. GILBERT - the CAT officer. ay he looks really snappy wearing his type A unif. all through 3rd year, crush ko talaga. one of the reasons why i regretted not joining the cocc.
19. ROBERTO - the fourth year guy with walang sabit hair. kainggit.
20. JG - my superior during cat days. nice guy. we became...ahmm, no labels pala. at first, the "separation" was a bit bad, er, really bad. it was that nasty that he made the entire echo 2nd platoon squat facing the scorching sun, for no apparent reason...except that probably because he hated me. =)
21. PATRICK - a wantus on air, younger guy from colegio de san agustin whom i met thru 349. a senti, sweety guy. things didn't work out though.
22. SAM - another wantus on air. the person with whom i share the passion for music that the band, live, has wonderfully created.
23. NOEL - mr. nice guy over 349 also. real good listener.
24. JR - my first crushie in up. a classmate in comm 1. the lamya guy.
25. VINCI - yep, one of the parokya boys. he's a seatmate in comm1. that class' so good, pretty filled with the (rare) cutie UP guys.
26. BING - the victoria basketball hunkie of up who, luckily, was my comm2 seatmate. aww, i can still vividly recall the masculine scent!
27. STEVEN - that electrical engg from block g-10 who made my days in UP one helluva experience! no, it's not because he was nice. a**h*le po cya. =) kasi it has been his strong belief that im one dumbass, well insofar as math 17 and 100, he is correct (yabang, hehe!). you can never put us together or we will explode. highly combustible pair.
28. AGILE - the hopeless romantic blockmate of #27.
29. PAOLO - the baby-faced blockmate of both #s 27 and 28.
30. ALBERT - my orgmate, my partner for our talent show as a part of our application requirement. really nice, mild-mannered and sweet-faced guy. smart pa. he graduated talaga comp engg (unlike...hehehe). the one that got away.
31. PONG - one of my best friend's cousin. hunky type. corny pero sweet. childlike. si "baby"... went on a relationship for more than a year, and that was just it. =) as they all say, it was good while it lasted but painful when it ended.
32. BUMBO - my blockmate in beda law. nice voice. articulate. a debater. first sem, first year crushie.
33. BADONG - blockmate too. he's everyone's crush. and he's loud. =)
34.PANCHO - see previous entry. and yup, let me admire him for a lifetime.
35. PED - beda law 2002's most eligible bachelor (until january 2002, of course). the lsg president, smart, a bookworm, uber friendly, as in. he is your perfect politico. and a fantastic friend too. =)
36. JUANITO - my classmate in persons. smart and decent-looking guy.
37. "CINCO" - see archived entry. =) a good friend. the guy who's got everything.
38. BD - ask monique about the details. i can't believe why i fell for his trap. and boy, i will never again. sobrang mabait, grabe (*sarcasm flooding).
39. "MINE" - see archived entry. =) one thing ive proven. fourth year in law school could really drive you nuts and distort your perception. hehe.
and finally...
40. KWON SANG WOO! - my oopa. choloooo!!!! =)


p.s. the list of course does not include my celebrity crushes...
41. aljon jimenez - of that's fame! ruffa's ka-loveteam!
42. ronnel victor - lotlot de leon's partner in "halimaw sa banga"
43. eric fructuoso - gwapings! =D
44. gio alvarez - ang tv days
45. basti artadi - wolfgang vocalist
46. glenn jacinto - teeth vocalist
47. james blanco - sheepish look
48. dennis trillo - mulawin heydays
49. dermot mulroney - my best friend's wedding!
50. brad pitt - b*tt pa lang, ulam na! troy!!!

=D bloody juveniley.

petrified

i think a spell had just been cast unto me. petrificus totalus! as it goes in harry potter.

seriously, i feel so numb, so scared and so lost right now. yeah, i am guilty of having committed two crimes here - reading an email of a classmate and visiting a site that i should not even consider of thinking during this phase in my life. and yep, i think the critical stage has arrived.

before any of you gets whacko as i am now, let me explain what this is about. well, as any usual evening, i jumped on the pc to check my mail and do some yearbook thingies. as i checked my mail, i saw a classmate's mail (to our batch's yahoo group) regarding "the release". i was hesitant to open it. title/subject pa lang, nangalos na tuhod ko. but i went on. feeling darna eh.

it was written there that our dean had a talk with the chairman and the latter said that the examiners are about to finish checking the booklets and that probably, the results will be out by second or third week of march.

that leaves me with fewer days to contemplate, to pray, to fight.

and oh, the site which i visited was the previous one which i mentioned. there is this forum about the results. it didn't help. it merely confirmed the message emailed to us by a classmate.

i am so scared. i don't know exactly what to do.