Sunday, February 19, 2006

just a q


i want to know how i can make this major crushie of mine fall for me...kahit na nga not that much eh. basta, at least notice me. =D

facts: i met him year 2000, 2nd sem, beda law. we became textmates [make that, i texted him first kasi i stalked on him, hehehe]. we got to talk on the phone. he's nice. one fine day, his blockmate [who was my former dormmate back in UP], K, approached me. she was in tears. she said she was afraid that this guy might be mad at him for having given his number to me. she thinks he was suspecting her to be the culprit why i got his number. i admitted to K, and apologized, that i told this guy clues as to from whom i got his number. i assured K that all will be well and that "he" will not get mad at her. i even promised that i'll stay away from "him" only to appease her and save their friendship. that day, mustering all my guts, and in the midst of my preparation for my crim2 class, i texted him and asked where he is, "we need to talk", i added.

taking a deep breath, kinalabit ko siya even if he seemed so immersed in whatever he was reading at that time. i nervously babbled my monolgue, "hey i am tin, the one who was textin you. thank you for being nice to me. however, i think i cannot be your friend anymore. let us just think that we never even met. just please don't get mad at K. don't consider me your friend na, si K na lang." he butted in that he was not mad at K, that everything's okay. i insisted however that, that his friendship with K is worth a lot. and finally reminded him to be nice to K.

after that, we would still chance at bumping each other at the library. there was even this occasion while i was preparing for the oblicon midterms, uttering loudly the hundreds of provisions, along the hallway of our lib, that he approached me. he quipped seryoso ah to which i responded oo eh, kailangan,dami pa nga eh. then i went on with my reading, and then he left.

there were various instances when he tried to greet me or smile at me, but, i stayed away, thinking it was harmful to his friendship with K. eventually though, he got the hang of it. we acted as though we didn't know each other. there came a point when i regretted having said those things and acted that way. but there was no turning back. we became colleagues in our school paper, but still, it's as if we don't know each other. if we chanced seeing each other along the corridors, it's either i or he who acts as if we were busy doing something. i think he knew i liked him. my makukulit na orgmates/friends who's a friend of his would tease us often. one of them even tried asking him for a date...blind date daw pero ako yun, hehehe. but of course, all to no avail.

until on our third year in law school, february 2003, i was informed by our common friend that he and a are now a couple. it was so devastating. especially during those times that there were pressworks where i had to endure being with him, breathing the same cold air [from the karag-karag aircon], staying awake with him til morning. then of course, uwian na, when he dashes out na lang bigla. it was so hurting. susme, may sakit ba akong nakakahawa? alam naman niya na pareho kami na southbound, na dapat man lang isabay nya ako kasi ala na ako kasabay. then the dedmahan drama went on, until he graduated.

there were of course magical moments, when we wished each other luck during our respective bar exams. but it's all there is. efren, his classmate and my good friend, once texted me (after their batch's drinking bout that night), blaming me. ako daw may kasalanan why the friendship "died." "binabati ka naman daw pala, kaw lang ang umiiwas." i texted back, "kung ayaw maraming dahilan, kung gusto maraming paraan." efren retorted, "ayaw lang maging feeling."

hay naku, if you are reading this now [as if you care, no?!], please let me love you. sige na. di naman ako mahirap mahalin. i'll make myself worthy of your affection, pwamis! di ka magsisisi! one-time lang! walang no-return, no-exchange policy! hehehe... truly! =)

issue: how can i make him fall for me, then? any suggestions? =D


2 comments:

Monique said...

Tin, bakit parang kilala ko yung matang yan??? ;)

I don't know what you can do e... Turn on the charm full force? Bat your eyelashes and pray he won't mistake it for an eye ailment? O dakmain mu na lang kaya. ahahahahaha! :D

TiN said...

dakmain ang alin? ahehehe =D

hay, kaya nga im dying to get work there sa pse. kahit magkano. hehehe. 17th floor ateng. hay. =(