sorry

i'm so sorry for everything. i am still the friend that you think i am, although it may not seem that way now because of this. i hope, on my part, that you still are the friend that i thought you to be... not swayed by other people's opinions, and can stick up for her friends because you value them as important in your life. remember during our elementary days, we used to exchange letters as often as we see each other. it dealt with really trivial matters from asking each other our favorite stuffs, down to our crushies and latest happenings in our life --- all of which we could have probably asked each other personally, since we were classmates. our lives were seemingly patterned similarly that we could have passed as best buds... from our ambitions [yours of course you have 'cupped'], to the young loves, to our passion for reading, our same fondness with respect to a departed friend... but we grew up together with different persons. precisely, we could have been best friends. and i wish we were. recently, our ties were again joined by the inevitable consequence of having landed in law school, the bar exams, your bar exams... couple that with the drinking bouts we have had. i must say that the friendship was reborn. =) you were the person i constantly flooded with my fears everytime our grades are being released. you were one of the few friends i broke the news to that i made it to 4th year in my school. and everytime, you would answer back, calm me down whenever my apprehensions arise, and rejoice with each year [and subject] that i survive from. you were the only person, the only friend that i know would understand my situation best. and i was glad, HE brought us back --- HE gave me you as an ally in the jungle called law school. and i will always be thankful to you for being that person. i was looking forward to seeing you guys again last november 28. i planned my schedule and made sure that i am free from my responsibilities at school come that date. but, as you said, sometimes, sh*t happens... i was swamped with loads of work, i was due for a one-time, big-time recitations in commercial. there was no other choice... but still, i expected you would understand --- moreso, you would not mind my absence... i was surprised with how things went. little did i know that i have hurt one of the friends ive treasured. i was more surprised with 'the tag.' i was hurt, i admit. i was thinking that probably, i am still considered 'an others' from you guys, which could be the reason why you kept calling me that 'tag.' i should have been happy since, they are really the group where i am associated with. but i am not. little did i know that you were harboring a 'major tampo.' the little sensitivity left in me has been flushed by law school. and i am sorry for causing you to feel that way. i did not - and never will- intend to hurt someone so precious in my life. i am sincere when i told you that given a choice, i would pick you guys, for all the hardships that i went through, it was you who showed you care. i'm so sorry as well for everything. you are still my friend that i think you are, and i believe that, EVEN it may not seem that way now because of this. and that, i am still the friend that you thought me to be... not swayed by other people's opinions, and will stick for my friends not only because i value them as important in my life but also because i am who i am now because of them.

love you my bespy panyera =)

write-up...

the toughest task i have ever dealt with since july is to come up with my description for the yearbook [beyond the academics of course]. it is coined a write-up and the task there is, is that it must not appear as a write-down... =)

i have made Globe Telecoms richer by around a hundred bucks [or more???] sending SMS to my friends asking [read:asking, not demanding] them to "please make a write-up about me." however, being a certified OC that i am, i made it a hobby to revise my write-up as often as i eat... until the muses came and i invented the phrase YOU KNOW IT'S TIN which they are supposed to complete. and thank heavens, despite my kakulitan, i still have friends who bought the idea. here it goes...

You know it’s TIN…

…when you hear an infectious laugh that reminds you that all is well in the world.
…pag nagkakawalaan na ng Baygon!
…when you meet some loving na makulit, kikay na mahiyain, matalinong humble and mapagmahal na tita, na friend ni Carol!
…pag meron ng umiiyak na tumatawa pagkatapos ng inuman.
…when you see a petite girl with a bag full of everything, as in daig ang girl scout dahil lahat ng effects dala niya.
…when she can stay up all day and night trying to finish 40 CDs in just one sitting, despite the Corpo class the next day (partida, may subtitle pa ‘yan!)
…if you see a voluptuous woman typing a novel with one hand!
…when you see the “punong-abala”, lahat kinakarir from choir, to enrolment, to Barrister, to SEDLEX, to 3B beadle and now the yearbook! Ang babaeng walang pahinga!
…when you have met the Lifetime Achievement Awardee for Martrydom!
…when your lucid interval is over and won’t have any for a long time – or at least until you are out of her sight.
…when you are comfortable in your own skin and no need for facades, masks or pretensions.
…when you are laughing your heart out, drinking ‘til you call the crows and having fun ‘til the wee hours of morning and it does not amount to alarms and scandal.
… when someone invites you to a totally jologs tagalog movie and you surprisingly end up enjoying, must be her company!
… when normal becomes abnormal in two seconds flat.
… when you see an enormous energy contained in a petite package marked with the cutest dimples and eyes filled with mischief. Her methodical and thorough mind coupled with a wonderful knack for finding practical applications for her ideas enable her to organize large projects easily. People like to be around because she always generates a happy atmosphere. Tin is always willing to help others. Her warm, honest and loyal nature ensures that she is loved by all.
… if it’s the gal who can be one of the guys, as well as be the seductive lady.
… if she writes a hell of mushy stuff about ______!

… kung ikaw ay nanlilimahid na sa pila sa enrolment at si Tin ay fresh na fresh at mukhang balikbayan tuwing enrolment!
… when you have that warm, fun feeling even on a cold day.
… when you hear strange noises at night.
… when you hear Mark or Jennylyn’s voice over the TV.
… because everything you’ll share together is silly but fun, trivial but significant, ordinary and yet memorable.
… because her potent smile has the same dynamite yet mysterious effect like her poetry.
… when she’s a friend you can always count on, sarap kasama mag-emote!
… when she’s a leader by heart!
… when there’s blue roses, the same ones closet stalkers use.

violent reactions are always welcome. but of course, with only 23 days to go, you sure wouldn't want to repudiate your gift, right? =)

p.s. many thanks to my friends who used up all their pambobolas just to satisfy my hunger for flattery!!! joyce, carol, ethel, roxanne, jaja, jen, tria, ods, sherwin, kats, shen, che, pam mercado, cheng, carrie, rose, marie, yayo, joy diaz, azela, weng simbahan, mareng dred, johna, rica, and [for the three most balahura answers i got] bumbo, allan carreon and omay. =)

art III, sec III, par. 1, 1987 constitution

finally...

i am here... to your consternation? =)

as i have named my blog, really, i am not a writer, at least according to my criterion...

i rarely go out [literally of course!].

it is an understatement to say that what i am into are boring stuffs.

leisure is excluded in my life.

i am an atypical being.

so what am i here for?

three reasons.

first, i am not assertive. i cherish every angst, each disappointment and all the nasty thoughts my gray matter's convolutions can entertain. blogging is the best way to bitch out, and artistically at that.

second, i love writing [though i do not consider myself a writer]. it has been my life - and death. it is where i nearly got killed by my highschool teacher, abhorred by my fellow students and cursed by my 'bosses'. it is my reincarnation as well - with all the unrequited affection and/or illusions that i had. it is through it that my spirit soared anew, with all the broken wings caused by Cupid's poor vision.

third, i am exercising my right to freedom of expression. =) duh???

three reasons look logically balanced. and i cannot think of any other reason.

see, i am really not a writer. =)