i have always dreamt of this day. for five long years, i waited and longed that someday, i shall be within the solace of the benedictine abbey, donning my red toga, all eager and anxious at the same time, to officially put an end to all the torments and agonies i had to undergo. finally, it came true today...the twelfth of april, 2005.
the ceremonies swiftly breezed. perhaps, i have not yet ingested the idea that "finally, i have obtained my LLB!" it occurred to me just now that, the student phase of my life has formally ended. i have obtained a bachelor of laws degree. i have earned that degree in san beda law. i am no longer a student.
there are all but mixed emotions that envelopes me right now. i am so happy that finally, i am no longer a tempting subject of humiliation of my professors, no longer the pressured student who has to brave the thought of just coming to class, the absentee classmate who has 'visited' the class once or twice, the girl who always had make-up on (with visible cheek tints), the 'basura' who comes to school as if she had just came from the wet market... i need not fear each day knowing that i am on deck. i need not scout my closet for 'feel-good' outfits. i can now grace the hall near the law dean's office without fear of any professor. i am so elated that, finally, i got what i aspired for and primarily, in the school where i wanted it to come from. the Lord has blessed me indeed.
on the other hand, there is a gnawing sadness, or aptly, emptiness, that strikes me as we march down the aisle. i will greatly miss the everyday classes, the battle of the class, the 'movement for ceasefire' activities, the simple kagaguhan, the shared feeling with the classmates of that fear of being called for recitations, the eskapo to fiorgelato at 6pm, the parties, the beers, the videoke, the concerted motion of the class. i will surely miss all the mistresses of my law school academic life. i will miss coming up with my article/column for The Barrister; and pouring all my canned emotions through the literary folio. i will miss the pressworks, or rather, the presswork con chika work, though ive been to a few only. i will miss the legal aid office, the chorale practices, the bar ops (this i will really miss, after having taken part on it since first year law), the enrolment orientation for the freshies, the registration of fellow students. these and all, i will certainly miss.
there is also fear biting my consciousness. september is just a few weeks away. bar examinations is something i must pass, with all the people surrounding me who have all placed their confidence in me that i shall pass the dreaded exams, i must do my best. it was a relief though, that last year's batch of barristers fared well, that the speaker for our grad also opined that passing the bar has become an occurrence to happen as a matter of course for bedan barristers. my spirits were boosted. i must pass the bar exams.
my graduation is a start of so many changes in my life. but having it "changed" within the confines of san beda law creates nothing but utmost ecstasy.
yey, i am now a member of the sbc alumni association (and can attend its yearly reunions and have a chance to see my crushes)!!! sayang lang, i can no longer marry in the abbey because the authority has been revoked. =)
congratulations self! we made it!
and really, that in all things, God is to be glorified...
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