recently, i was having some spiritual struggle. feeling really unworthy to pray and ask, feeling hesitant to approach a long-time friend, feeling simply abandoned...all at the same time.
you see, i am still jobless for three months now. there were no apt job offers that are not shocking to the senses. january is slipping really fast. bar exams chismis are on the rise. i am jobless, my funds are getting low and my bar results is all uncertain.
just about an hour ago, i decided to check my email. no enticing shows on tv fits my disoriented mind. out of sheer boredom, i clicked on google and encoded anima christi to search for the full lyrics of this favorite church song. it just happened.
anima christi
and i clicked some more, inching my way to the site's chatroom.
sylvia, anitairl and mark.
and everything came pouring in. it was no ordinary chat, i tell you. He found his way to get His messages sent. the moment was so magical. it's so inexplicable.
He knows that i was becoming too philosophical, thinking that sometimes the things bubbling in my mind are not His but may just be mine. He knows that an internet junkie like i am believes mostly of what he/she sees in his/her monitor. and that i can be really touched by innocent messages from people i barely knew.
and i thank You again, for reaching out to me. for being so patient despite my being so stubborn. for having made me realized that i am never alone, that with all these technology streaming on my face, YOU are here. YOU listen in the deep whinings, the silent cries of my heart, despite how unworthy i am. i love you so much. thank you, naisahan mo na naman ako dun ah.
[Sylvia] if God has brought you here, he is already answering your prayers
here is the song that led me to these all...
Anima Christi
Melody by J. Arboleda
Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, give me strength.
Hear me Jesus, hide me in Thy wounds,
That I may never leave Thy side.
From all the evil that surrounds me, defend me.
And when the call of death arrives, bid me come to Thee,
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints, forever.
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