hormonal?

my former boss called me to ask about a case that i used to handle. since i was alone at the office (my current boss was out for a meeting), and i myself wasn't in a meeting either, i was able to answer former boss' call.

and so the conversation went on. when former boss asked me how i was, my voice started to crack and i felt like crying. nobody has asked me how i was since i left, with such genuine concern and sincerity. i felt like i was about to explode. who wouldn't be? everyday i have no one else to talk with except my current boss. i have no friends who will listen to me at the office. everyday, all i do is work and deal with colleagues on professional terms. my fault? please allow me to say that it is not. with the circumstances present at the workplace, it is always better to keep your mouth shut.

yeah, i am not fine. i am starting to feel regret streaming through my entirety. i have no option but leave, as explained by my previous post. i cannot be selfish. there is no point in going after a dream at the expense of the people dearest to me.

i was thinking, is my sudden burst of emotion merely because of something hormonal?

this morning, i woke up crying, sobbing. i dreamt that i attended a meeting of sorts at my former school. then i saw him (name withheld upon my request!). seems we are a couple as i told him that i'll be off attending the meeting. then, when i went back, i saw him holding this girl's hands. was furious and pounced on them. i was so mad and was shouting at them. then i was crying and it felt really painful. the pain was beyond measure that it woke me up at around 4am. then i realized, it is perhaps good i am not in a romantic relationship with anyone right now. i do not want to feel that way again, heartbroken.

back to blog

more than a year has passed when i last posted an entry. i missed blogging and the immeasurable peace it gives by just being there, accepting all that i wanted it to keep immortal.

i must write this down, i told myself. new work, but not much of new friends i can talk with. the stress i am experiencing at work sometimes makes me regret leaving where i stayed the longest. but, i know that aside from the fact that i can't turn back the time anymore, i have to stay put not only for myself but for the people i love.

sacrifice is indeed a big word. as big as love. i truly believe that everytime we love, sacrifice is there, beckoning at us that it should also be there. simply put, no love if there is no sacrifice.

hence, i know that i just cannot leave. have to bear everything if only to make life easier for those i love. everytime i feel pain, i would remind myself that i am also doing this for the people i love. if i need to leave, i must make sure that all else will be the same --- if not, for the better.

verily, love is one double-edged sword. while it gives you happiness beyond measure, there is also pain in keeping it. i would want to give up, but i can't.

infuriated

pissed. dissed. irritated. sick. tired. mad.

change is never an easy panacea --- and never will be.

first post for 2009

hello 2009!

i was supposed to post an entry on the first day of 2009. however (and irregretably though), i was led to chat with my fwens maan, then milen and arvin. i had loads of fun, with arvin's "ematured" approach which "wikipidia" nor the "visaya" can hardly comprehend. i was cryin and laughin at the same time :) nakakabaliw.

i am optimistic that i will be able to post entries on a "regular" basis. i truly miss bloggin. it's just that, sometimes, you get soooo tired of writing, you can barely extract any from your mind. :)

december 10, 2008 at the makati city hall of justice

I went out of the courtroom after my case has been called and my motion granted. Besides, our client's representative has already approached me for a chittychat. We were having discussions along the corridors when I saw somebody familiar traversing my direction. He's clad in yellow long-sleeved polo. As to the other details, it's funny, 'cause now I cannot recall any of it - whether he has with him folders, or bag. All I had in mind, clearly, was his face. That evasive look on his face. The hurried walk.

I still feel.

80 years old = my life expectancy

(evaluation daw to --- with MY comments)

Personal

+ 0.75

You noted that you manage your stress poorly. Do a significantly better job and you could add three quarters of a year to your life expectancy --- DEFINE SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER JOB?

+ 1.0

Cutting back on your hours at work, approaching, if you can, 40 or fewer hours, could add a year to your longevity --- CAN I INVOKE THIS TEST IN ORDER TO ASK FOR ADDITIONAL TIME TO FILE A PLEADING?

+ 1.0

Going from 6 days of work per week to 5 days a week could add one year of life to your longevity --- OKI (BUT I WORK AT HOME)

Lifestyle

+ 0.5

Minimizing or cutting out your caffeinated coffee consumption completely could provide you with about half a year more in life expectancy --- LET ME WAIVE THAT HALF A YEAR!

+ 2.0

If it is ok with your doctor, taking an 81 mg aspirin every day improves your hear and brain health and could help you delay or escape a heart attack or stroke. Taking an aspirin each day, perferably in the evening, could add 2 years to your life expectancy. --- WHY?

+ 0.5

Ultraviolet rays present in sunlight and tanning beds greatly increase your risk of skin cancer, including melanoma. They also increase wrinkles. It is good that you are already decreasing your sun exposure. Doing so consistently could add half a year to your life expectancy. --- NOTED

+ 1.0

There is a clear link between the inflammation of gum disease and heart disease. Do a good job of flossing daily and you could add a year to your life expectancy. --- PAMBIHIRANG BRACES TO!

Nutrition

+ 8.0

The more you can get fast foods out of your diet the better. With your current consumption, removing fast foods from your diet could add 8 years to your life expectancy --- WOW! DI NGA?

+ 0.5

Cutting back sweets in your diet to 1-2 times per week or less could add half a year to your life expectancy --- HALF LANG, PASS!

+ 2.0

Changing your daily dietary intake so that you get to and maintain a healthy weight could add two years to your life expectancy --- LIKE WHAT?

Medical

+ 1.0

Examining yourself for cancer could add a year to your life expectancy

--- HMMM

+ 2.0

Decreasing your diastolic blood pressure (the second of the two numbers) to less than 80 or even lower could add 2 years to your life expectancy --- PANO?

+ 1.5

Getting your blood pressure checked annually could add a year and a half to your life expectancy --- OK

there goes. let's wait after 51 years!

sniff sniff

i can only take so much.

eureka!!!

found it finally!!!

ate shawie's official website!!! (that's sharon cuneta, dude!)

here goes,

www.sharoncuneta.com

go, click it! i personally enjoyed the pics ate shawie posted (tapos may captions pa), ayyy, i so love her!!!

love love

i love multiply! super addict na nga ako that i leave it open even when i am working (ginagawa ko syang ym ko, which on the other hand, i am no longer opening, since ala na ako kachika e)...

nways, what i love about multiply is that, i get to shop online! i just ordered a UP shirt from universitees' ellen wherein UP's infamous bluebook is printed on the front. parang bluebook shirt!

im also scouting for cheap (as if, sige na nga affordable) ipod nano (oks yung red), perfumes, kung ano-ano. hehe.

these, aside from the fact that i can easily post comments on my friend's videos, pics and blogs.

tapos, i can view pa my fave celebs' accounts. hahaha, jologs.

will let u know about my first purchase, gcash sya, katuwa i dunno pa pano yun. tinuruan pa ako ni ellen. still considering purchasing cosmetics saka this burberry weekend perfume (dunno lang kung ok sa kin di ko na maaalala scent nito e, saka ralph and clinique girl ako, naks)

til next :)

sleeping beauty

eto talaga pangarap ko eh, di naman maging abogada.

just imagine, among the other fairy tale characters, si sleeping beauty lang ang hindi nagdusa, AT ALL..

she lived a grandiose life, being a princess at birth. born with a silver spoon, she did not experience any hardship - unlike cinderella, snow white or belle even. kahit pa nga si ariel.

tapos, nakatulog siya. 100 years?

hmmm... sarap di ba, yun pa lang.

she slept for what-it-seemed-like-a-lifetime. then, she was awaken by a kiss - true love's kiss!

aptly, bonggang-bongga.

i want to be like sleeping beauty.

one, because life's so easy for her (rich kasi sya, period!).

second, she only slept yet was found by someone who loved her (samantalang ako, di ko alam san pang lupalop ng mundo ako pupunta para lang mahanap prince charming ko!)

third, she did not do anything yet lived happily ever after (ano yun, natulog lang tapos sumaya na?!).

lam ko na wish ko for christmas.

me and myself

my really good fwen, porky maan, left for singapore last saturday. equally good fwen jen, left a week before maan took her 7am flight.

now, i no longer have anybody to be with every weekend. no one patiently waits for me anymore while i fly my way from ortigas to makati. no one to eat dencio's sisig with - and share hungrypac choco cake after. no morning greetings over ym. sad.

sometimes, i do not want to invest in friendships anymore. one, because i am afraid that they'll leave me later on. and two, i'm no good in alloting time for my friends because of work.

hay, hate my work. hay, hate being a lawyer crossing about three cities just to earn a living.

yeah right

Your Birthdate: April 29

http://www.blogthingsimages.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanforyourlovelifequiz/birthday.jpg" height="100" width="100"> You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move. It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone. Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5 You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanforyourlovelifequiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

birthday blogpost

i wasn't expecting a detailed post for me in her blog. but my dear friend, maan, despite all the many tasks she is faced with, took time to devote one whole post for me on my day. so, for everyone to be as delighted as i was, i am reposting her entry for me :)

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
PoRkY T!N's DaY...
Our friendship started a decade ago, from skywalker experienced to sisig-emote moments we are always together like Batman and Robin. Tests of friendship also challenged us but we managed to stay solid and loyal to one another. She is one friend who is always there to listen and to emote with you, hahaha, minsan pa nga mas emote sya. That's why I call her my " co-best dramatic actress", pero d best pa rin ako ha? lol!...

Just like with Jen, no words can truly explain how much I'm glad to have her in my life. She is not just a friend but also a sister to me, extended pa nga yan kc it's not only to me whom she extends her love and concern kc pati family ko feels how much Tin loves them...

And today on her 29th birthday on the 29th of April, 2008, I would like to share to you "29things that best describes Atty. Ma. Cristina C. Constantino"...

(here she posted my pic, which, for some reason, i wasn't able to copy)

1. Her family call her "Maricris" but for me she's my "porks"
2. She's "naynay" cum "tita sexy" to clarence and clarisse.
3. She's a true blue 'taurean",perfect match ang personality nya sa zodiac sign nya...
4. She loves to bake...wanna taste the famous crinkles and brownies? ask her to bake for u, masipag yan eh!
5. She loves her bed so much kya nga pag bakasyon at me lakad kyo, always advance your call time ng 2 to 3 hours kung ayaw nyo mag-antay ng almost half day, lol! peace!
6. She's also a certified "mamba", short for "mambabasura"...Khit candy wrapper pa yan, she'll keep it for years, lalo kung galing sa malapit sa puso nya.
7. Never a dull moment, khit pagtulog para kang always on a "dolby sounds surround" room....
8. Sya ang pnakanaunang nagka-boypren sa min, hahhaa...who wouldn't know the "high-school grad stokwa story"?, hehehe...peace!...Seriously, she had 3 wonderful love story, that is definetely pang MMK!
9. Certified hearthrob during our elementary & highschool days...hahaha, ewan ko nga lang kung san na ngayon ang mga admirers nya, hoy ngayon kayo kelangan ni cristina! lol
10. At since hearthrob nga, sympre kasunod nun ang pagiging muse nya...
11. She sings good pero shy sya, member nga yan ng glee club sa dept nila sa san beda? hmmm, bkit sa ldsp di ka nag-member? kaw ha?
12. She might not be as tall as the supermodels, but her achievements are as high or baka nga higher pa than those models...
13. Her intelligence is not only limited to her field but also to showbiz balita...Sya po ang nagintroduce sa kin ng pep website, chicka.com, blogs of kc concepcion, dj montano at kung sino-sino pang hot celebrity...hehehe
14. Obviously, Tin is someone who loves to eat, that's why if you wanna know some latest grantisadong masarap na resto or bakeshop, just ask her coz she'll definetely have an answer.
15. 24 hours is not enough to her busy schedule...partida, ala pa syang bf nyan ha?
16. Since she's a very busy personality, bumabawi na lang sya sa pagma-marathon ng mga favorite american series nya during her off days...hmm, that makes her edu's secret enemy number 1, hehehe...
17. She is a certified " Sharonian"... Ask her about tita shawie's movies, 99% nun napanuod na nya at meron pa syang collection ng old to present movies at magazines about tita sharon...Di lang yun, pati family ni tita shawie, number 1 fan sya!
18. Tin is one her person who 100% commits herself in anything she does...oops, except for diet!
19. She hates veggies!
20. Her fave foods are sisig, liempo, crispy pata, kwek-kwek, itlog ng pugo at iba pang pangpahigh-blood...her alibi, bsta me gamot naman sya, oks lang kumain ng kumain, lol!
21. When she's irita, never talk to her, kc she's really out of her mind...
22. When she's sad or depressed, she tends to drink a lot and when she's drunk, tago ka na kung ayaw mong mapagkamalang "rapist"...hehehe
23. Code name: Baygon
24. She loves the song "one last cry",kahit it seems to be "non-stop cry"
25. She adores shoes, though sometimes shoes doesn't adore her...hehehe...Pasalamat ang mga koreano sa knya dahil isa sya sa mga pwede mong sabihin stockholder ng korean shoes...
26. She hates to swim maging swimming pool man or beach, NO yan for Tin! Kya naman bhira kming mag-outing, 2nd year highschool pa ata kmi the last time we went to a resort...
27. 100% picture adik!
28. Maswerte ka kung masagot ka nya agad pag nagtext or tumwag ka sa cellphone nya...Kadalasan puti na ang mata mo, bago sya magreply! hehehe...
29. Mabilis man syang magpapalit-palit ng employer, but her personality is still the same old Tnay I've known more than 10 years ago...She is such a passionate and self-driven woman, and a wonderful daughter, sister, tita, and friend to the people around her...

~HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PORKS!~

thanks again fwen :) mwah!!! labya :)

thanks (part2)

pahabol thanks to the following people:
1. atty. jessica vitug
2. joyce castaneda
3. atty. portia obciana-gonzalvo
4. eloisa sajul
5. joey san luis
6. janice madula
7. atty. joy zabala
8. ruthie tercero
9. erma sapallo
10. gerald payumo
11. atty. maeng jose
12. abigail geromo
13. atty. yayo pagaling
14. yen dalomias
15. janice libuit
16. atty. sharlyne goboy-lapuz
17. atty. mae ventura
18. ate maui miranda

thanks too to my rn family and the kssc staff :)

thanks

for taking time to make me feel really special...

for sending me messages on my globe number:
1. roxi feliciano (12:53am)
2. tita odeng (5:23am)
3. atty. azela asilo (6:36am)
4. cha lasan (7:22am and at 12:26am)
5. atty. monica almeida (7:44am)
6. jean zavala (8:51am)
7. tonet yanza (8:52am)
8. atty. ethel regadio (9:01am)
9. randy lloyd pineda (9:27am)
10. atty. celline carlos (9:44am)
11. tita oreng (9:48am)
12. jen casimiro (9:54am)
13. cleo and brian basco (10:06am)
14. glenn de leon (10:14am)
15. bumbo cruz (10:25am)
16. atty. jen olba (10:38am)
17. irene torres (10:41am)
18. otchie bagalso (10:42am)
19. maui batongbakal (11:20am)
20. atty. glenn armamento (11:49am)
21. atty. jen tiu (11:54am)
22. atty. rose tam (11:58am and at 12:27am)
23. tita thelma lasan (12:39am)
24. ivy calma (12:58am)
25. atty. imee daguman (1:01pm)
26. agnes ignacio (1:31pm)
27. engr. jeff constantino realis (1:47pm)
28. blue macalinao (2:03pm)
29. allan carreon (2:56pm)
30. atty. carrie sianghio (5:21pm)
31. atty. johna ramirez (6:46pm)
32. doc omar lopez (7:03pm)
33. atty. pam mercado (7:12pm)
34. atty. nep pasiliao (8:08pm)

and my smart number...
1. atty. ria viesca (12:01am and at 10:02am)
2. agnes ignacio (5:52am)
3. atty. carol arciaga (5:54am)
4. tita babes miranda (7:36am)
5. nitz revilla (8:09am)
6. bhet cabel (8:30am)
7. vicvic tusi (8:41am)
8. atty. roviel nepomuceno (9:44am)
9. atty. stephanie baltao-basilio (9:57am)
10. rhoda cruz (10:42am)
11. jack labendia (10:45am)
12. froilan espedido (10:46am)
13. cecil espino (11:26am)
14. becky catriz (12:20pm)
15. mcneil mendoza (1:39pm)
16. jovin javier (4:21pm)
17. cathy (6:49pm)


for the friendster comments...
1. ate irene
2. gracie cordero
3. dang primitivo-san luis
4. tonet yanza (ulit, hehe)
5. pamela andaya
6. maricar anaya-dee
7. audie ricamonte
8. mheann
9. sheryl morales
10. otchie bagalso
11. maan miranda (ulit din, hihi)
12. verlyn gacayan
13. che mercado

and for those who attempted to reach me by calling my mobile:
1. jean zavala - who sent a message instead
2. maan miranda - who tried to call many times,but we were able to talk by lunch na din at ininggit ko sya sa pasta and gelato i had for lunch, hehe
3. blue macalinao - who i texted and he texted na din
4. atty. tria de guzman - the only call i was able to attend to :)

for the sent messages din, early bday greetings:
1. ate ehla ravelo
2. ate eloi sajul
3. tita baby

and of course, mom and dad, ate, clarence, clarisse, kuya, ate delma and monet for the fabulous bday handa :)

im so blessed :)

POSTSCRIPT: im really sorry for having to put down in writing even the very hour that my friends sent me a message. i actually do this yearly, even before texting came into existence in the philippines. i always prepare a list of those people who phoned me or greeted me in any way. however, there were a few years when i lost the list (meron din naman ibang years na naiwan). so for posterity's sake, i am making this entry.

POSTSCRIPT TO THE POSTSCRIPT: so, pano na lang sa di nakagreet? hehehe... dont worry, i don't bear grudges naman except lang if you forgot to remember me on my day, hehehe. ;p

29

happy birthday to me! :)

here is how i spent my day...

0000H to 0600H - doze off (may surprising dream ako about him, again!)
0600H to 0700H - preparation for my hearing (you know, daily hygiene and stuff)
0700H to 0930H - travel time (to nlrc banawe for my 1030 hearing, with my ate in tow)
0930H to 1100H - hearing proper (for two cases)
1100H to 1230H - trip to tomas morato for food reservation AND lunch at amici (yummy, had pizza and lasagna plus their oh-so-delicious gelato)
1201H to 1300H - trekked the morato area, dropped by at charms&crystal and off to laguna
1301H to 1600H - trip back home (while answering bday greetings)
1600H to present - devoured my handa,hihi, and still devouring, while checkin my emails and friendster

had a blast... somethin's missing though. siguro, it's because i wasn't able to visit Him and thank Him.

love my day.

happy 9th bday bem!

yep, he's no super-bait kid (unlike me, hahaha)... yet, he makes my heart flutter and draw incredible happiness from me. he is witty and funny most of the time, stubborn and candid at times. he is smart, knows various things. he can be a geek, with his wide knowledge of dinosaur names, anatomy of animals and volcano facts. but, he can compete with any cool teener about cars and gadgets. techie kid. he knows how to operate any gadget, name it. he can excel if he wants, but right now, just enjoys his youth. i am guilty of compelling him to shine, who wouldn't, i'm just like any proud tita.

i love this kiddo so much i'd give anything to make him happy.

love you bem, happy 9th birthday!

late post

i've been busy with a lot of things lately that i wasn't able to post any...
so let me make it up :)

belated birthday greetings to a few friends who turned a year younger...
(1)ATTY. ROSE TAM, who i must stress is blooming in love lately;
(2)MONDS JAMIN, who still has to treat us (baka wedding reception na ah, hehe);
(3)ATTY. KATS PIOQUINTO who is so yaman na, hehe;
(4)ATTY. TRIA DE GUZMAN, who had a fabulous birthday at mcdonald's (will post pics later)
(5) TITA THELMA LASAN, and i wish her many more years to come; and,
(6) dear fwen JEN CASIMIRO, who we were not even able to greet personally on her day.

more blessings to all of you :)

tin's believe it or not...

holy week (slash bakasyon) :)

to the batcave!!!

for four straight days, i'll be doing the following (any of the following, not in any particular order though):

1. finish the ghost whisperers seasons 2 (4 more eps) and 3
2. start watching the following series: a. supernatural, season 1; b. sex and the city, seasons 1-7; c. criminal minds, season 1; d. prisonbreak, season 1; and, e. boston legal, season3 [alin kaya dito?]
3. read bridges of the madison county [bought hardbound for only P149!]
4. watch lots of movies i missed :)
5. talk with ate eloi regarding wedding details
6. rest? (if any)

hehehe...

see you monday (unless by some magic, id be able to surf the net this weekend)!

by the way, this vacation costed me some moolah ha with my purchases, buti na lang...
hehehe...